


Tear-Stained Sleeves

by renarizaki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Atsumu is a singer, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Kita cant handle the fame, M/M, Post-Break Up, Singer AU, im not that great at writing, im sorry for this, not beta read bc i die like a man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27034417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renarizaki/pseuds/renarizaki
Summary: Atsumu felt as if he’d completely lost himself. Yet maybe, just maybe, if he pretended he was found, he’d believe it.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Tear-Stained Sleeves

“I can’t do this anymore.”    
  
His words held in the dense air on this cold night.   
  
“What?” Atsumu breathed, visible in the air.   
  
“I can’t do this anymore, Atsumu.” Kita clarified.   
  
Tears stung at the blonds eyes, as he turned his entire body to face the other man. “W-what are you saying, Shin?”   
  
Kita looked down at the ground, “I’m sorry… I just- I need to go.”

Atsumu couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. All he could do was stand in silence as he watched his lover walk in the other direction, only to disappear into the night.   
  


* * *

  
  
But that was just about two weeks ago. The scene replays in Atsumu’s mind over and over again as he stares at the blank ceiling in the middle of the night. Restless, he tossed and turned in his bed over and over. Minutes, hours, he didn’t know. All he could think of was how the man he loved wasn’t next to him. Exhausted, but not being able to sleep, Atsumu pulled himself out of his bed and went out onto the balcony.   
  
Basked in moonlight, Atsumu leaned on the railing. A thing he did with his lover many, many nights when neither could fall asleep. To take his mind off of it, he pulled his phone out of his pocket to mindlessly scroll through social media. The seemingly small action reminded him of a highschool friend Atsumu hadn’t talked to in years, Suna Rintarou. The thought of his old friend brought a weak smile to his lips, until he came across a certain post.   
  
“Local Singer Myatsumu- Where is He?: Today marks the second week of the singers unknown hiatus.”   
  
A drawn out sigh, Atsumu closes the app, and does something he wishes he’d done earlier. Call his brother.    
  
The phone rang for about 15 seconds before a familiar voice answered. “My my, has the famous Myatsumu finally reached out to his lowly brother?” Osamu teased.

“‘Samu.” Atsumu’s voice was serious, yet quiet.   
  
Obviously, Osamu had noticed his twins change in tone. “Hey.. what’s up?” He responded.   
  
“Shin and I… we…” Atsumu’s voice trailed off, “We broke up…”   
  
“Oh my god. ‘Tsumu.. I’m.. I’m so sorry…”    
  
“Heh.. don’t be, it’s not yer fault.” Atsumu whispered back, chuckling through a sniffle.   
  
Osamu stayed silent, not knowing what to say next.   
  
“If only I could say I loved him one more time…” Atsumu made an attempt to fill the silence.   
  
“Hey, ‘Tsumu, why don’t you do what you do best?” Osamu was soft in his voice.   
  
“Huh?” Atsumu hummed.   
  
With hope in his voice, “Why don’t you write a song?” Osamu smiled to himself, so far away from his twin.   
  
“Ya know what… that’s a good idea, ‘Samu. Yer lucky you got some brains.” Atsumu wiped at his eyes.   
  
The brothers laughed to themselves, hanging up after a few short words of goodbye to each other. That night, Atsumu got to work doing what he loves and does best. Something he wishes he thought of himself, something he wishes he did sooner. He got to writing.   
  


* * *

  
  
About a week ago, Atsumu came out of hiatus and announced a show on his social media. He wasn’t a giant artist, but he had enough of a fanbase that he knew lots of people would show up.   
  
Now, about thirty minutes before the show would start, Atsumu gets to setting up his stage at the venue. With impromptu hired background singers, Atsumu got his microphone set right at the front of the stage, then ran backstage to help with tech issues before the show starts.   
  
A few short minutes later, Atsumu assumes his position at his microphone, taking a final deep breath.   
  
The curtains rose. A wave of sound slapped Atsumu in the face as he face the crowd. He closed his eyes and let the words flow. Words of love, compassion, warmth. It was a comfortable melody that carried him effortlessly, as if sitting on a cloud. The crowd disappeared. It was just Atsumu and his words.   
  
"Have I found you? Or have I finally lost myself?" With Kita, Atsumu felt he wasn’t himself. Not in a bad way, quite the contrary. He liked who he was with Kita.   
  
The tone of the song changed just as quickly as their relationship did. Words full of emotion, mostly pain, left Atsumu. He sang with such passion, unlike any song prior. It was like picking at a scab that was not even close to healed. It was a sensitive wound that didn’t deserve to be touched, but he did nonetheless.   
  
"Have I lost you? Or have I finally found myself?" The answer to this question was a short and simple no. Atsumu felt as if he’d completely lost himself. Yet maybe, just maybe, if he pretended he was found, he’d believe it.    
  
It got quieter as the second chorus ended. Quieter and quieter until it was silent. Atsumu breathed heavily as he finally finished singing. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers, yet Atsumu kept his head down in an attempt to steady his breath. Curtains lowered once again. Atsumu’s head pounded, sweat dripped down his face. Picking himself up, Atsumu walked off to his private room where he could collect himself.   
  


* * *

  
  
Atsumu thought he was dreaming when he opened the door to his room.   
  
“Hey.” Kita said in a small voice, already inside.   
  
Atsumu stood there, having zero idea what to say, but he noticed Kita’s tear-stained sleeves.   
  
“Oh uh- your manager let me know this was your room. Sorry.” Kita answered for himself.   
  
“Sh- Kita..?” Atsumu had to know he wasn’t dreaming.   
  
“Shin is still fine.” Kita smiled to himself. “Do ya think we could talk? Sit down with me?”   
  
“I-.... uh, yeah.” Atsumu followed Kita over to a small bench pushed against the wall, forcing them to sit close.   
  
Atsumu stared at the ground, he didn’t dare to look at Kita. He was afraid he’d make a fool of himself somehow.    
  
Kita didn’t want the silence to waver for too long. “I miss you, Atsumu.” He sighed.   
  
Atsumu gulped. “I… miss you too…” It was hard for him to get the words out.   
  
“I know that song was about me… it was nice..” Kita smiled.    
  
Atsumu still didn’t know what to say.   
  
“Do you think we could talk about this? Talk about us?” Kita leaned forward to look at Atsumu, and grabbed his hand.   
  
For the first time this entire conversation, Atsumu looked Kita in the eyes.

“Yeah. We can talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is the first fic ive ever publicly posted!! im not too confident in my writing but i hope u like it anyway :D  
> yell at my on twitter !! idk how to embed links here lol https://twitter.com/BrihMoment


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